Progress?

It's about this time of year when we think back on the year and ponder resolutions for the future. Does it seem kind of silly that in the past year I have:

~Moved back to a town that I have already moved away from two times?

~Welcomed a foster child back into my home after watching her leave over a year ago?

~Started (re)dating my former eCrush?

2009: Year of Progress or Year of Second Chances?

Marshmallows Are Not For The Faint of Heart

I should have listened. But I never do. Valerie turns out these amazing homemade marshmallows every year at Christmas. They look just like the Williams-Sonoma marshmallows pictured above. I was looking for a low-cost gift for a family get together and decided that if Valerie could do it so could I. But Valerie said it's way harder than it looks. Valerie said she couldn't do it without her husband's assistance. Valerie said using a mixing stand could blow out the motor. Did I listen? Nope. Valerie, my apologies.

8:45 am - Batch #1: So I'm using a slightly different recipe than Valerie. And since my printer isn't hooked up, I copied the directions by hand. Gelatin and water sitting for half an hour, syrup mixture heating up to 240 degrees, all is well. Turn the mixer on low and add the syrup. Beat for 12-15 minutes and add the vanilla during the last minute. Poured it in the sugar-dusted pan and it was about an eighth of an inch thick. Busted out the recipe and realize I forgot to write the following: "Once all of the syrup mixture has been added to the bowl, INCREASE MIXING SPEED TO HIGH and continue to beat for 12-15 minutes. My first batch looks more like Laffy Taffy than marshmallows. It kinda sorta tastes like marshmallows but its texture is more like one of those sticky spiders that you got as a kid and threw on the wall and watched as it globbed its way down.

3:30 pm - Batch #2: This time I followed instructions to a T. And then I realized exactly why Valerie needs an extra pair of hands. She said that at about 7 minutes into mixing the marshmallows start to climb up the beater (and on into the motor) unless you are able to keep it "mashed down" in the bowl. Less than 5 minutes into my {ahem, HIGH-speed} mixing session it started to rise. I kept my cool and was using a spatula to keep it all down. I was thinking to myself, "Self, you are a natural at marshmallow-making. Self, you should tell Valerie exactly how you're doing this so that it will be easier for her next year. Self, if only you had a free hand available because you should totally give yourself a pat on the back. SELF, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE HEAD OF YOUR SPATULA JUST GOT CAUGHT IN THE BEATERS AND BROKE OFF AND NOW YOUR BOWL IS WOBBLING AND THE MARSHMALLOWS ARE CLIMBING UP THE BEATERS AND ALL YOU HAVE IN YOUR HAND IS A PLASTIC STICK?!?!?!?"

It's okay, readers, I still managed to keep my cool...just a minor setback. I turned the mixer off, fished out the spatula part, grabbed a spoon, and went back to work. I managed to keep the climbing at bay by resting the bottom of my big spoon against the top of the blades. Yep, hubris snuck back in and I was gloating in the fact that I had apparently solved Valerie's biggest marshmallow dilemma. The only issue at this time is that I was fairly sticky from fishing out the spatula bits. With one minute remaining, I was supposed to add a teaspoon of vanilla but my left hand was super sticky and my right hand was dedicated to spoon/beater duty. I grabbed the bottle with my left hand, and opened it with my teeth (totally sanitary, I know). I figured I'd just eyeball the amount, just a splash really, when the bottle hit the side of the spinning bowl and a whole lot more than a teaspoon fell into the batter. "Um...self, any suggestions here?"

So I turned off the mixer yet again, put a smaller bowl underneath the beaters (in case any blobs of sticky goo dripped off), and inverted the larger marshmallowy bowl over the sink. I think I drained most of the vanilla but there's really no telling just how much remained in the batter. If I thought I was sticky before that I was sadly mistaken. I went ahead and beat the crap out of this brownish mixture for another minute and then I scooped it all into my pan. This batch is much fluffier and taller and all-around more marshmallowy looking than the first, but I'm concerned about the taste. Alas. Also, Valerie's are always level on each side and the top of this batch seems pretty wavy. Oh well. Two down, two to go.

Don't worry, pictures of my "adventure" will be uploaded soon!

P.S. I used to think that Williams-Sonoma was ripping people off by charging $15 for 27 oversized marshmallows (pictured at the top of the post) but now I'm not so sure. I think that probably the people who are forking over that kind of cash are all people like me who have attempted (and failed!) to make them on their own. Personally, I think $15 is looking like quite the bargain at this point!!!!

...and later in the day...

9:45 pm - Batch #3: I came home from watching a "dollar" movie with Little Miss M and decided I would give it another shot before going to bed. Everything was perfect. I had all sorts of backup utensils lined up in case of emergency. I improved upon my technique (some lessons learned from throwing pottery actually came in handy) and thought I had knocked this one out of the park until.........can you guess what's coming?.............the motor blew on the mixer! Are you freaking kidding me?! Remember Valerie's caveat? Yeah. It was just so thick and I guess it was too much for the poor machine to take. I'm hoping that it just overheated and will work again soon because I borrowed it (oops!).

I still had three minutes remaining and had a whisk on stand by but I had beaters and a spoon and a spatula that needed de-marshmallowing (mainly because there wasn't much left in the bowl at that point) before I could start whisking. I wasn't sure if this lag time would be detrimental to the marshmallows or not but what could I do? I tossed in the (precisely premeasured and at-the-ready!) teaspoon of vanilla and whisked the hell out of that bowl of glop. My arm was killing me after about 30 seconds but I pushed through for a whole minute. I still had two more minutes to go but I figured if it was stiff enough to break the mixer, it was stiff enough for me. It took a while to mush it down in the pan and it still isn't an even surface but whatever. I don't really care anymore. I have enough ingredients to try a fourth time but, again, I don't care anymore. What I care about is alcohol. Tequila. I need a shot of tequila.

Lessons Learned:

#1 - Valerie is a domestic goddess. When she speaks of marshmallows, she speaks the truth. Write down her every word. I am now recalling that Valerie also said she started using a smaller pan so the finished product would be taller. Hmpf.

#2 - Never handwrite detailed recipes. Print them out!

#3 - Always have a dog or two around for kitchen clean up. (EDIT: apparently dogs do not care for powdered sugar and therefore you must clean up your own marshmallow mess)

#4 - If someone sells it, buy it. No matter the cost!

#5 - If your dear friend gives you a delicious homemade treat, enjoy it and think not about whether you are capable of recreating the deliciousness. You probably aren't.

#6 - Pottery techniques work surpisingly well with a spinning bowl of marshmallow goop. So take as many continuing education classes you can. You never know when they'll come in handy.

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - M

Mag - Mag (pronounced "Mog") was my Latin teacher in high school. Mag is short for "magistra" which means teacher. She is an amazing person and quite possibly the reason I decided to choose a career in education. When I was writing my eHarmony profile I had to talk about someone besides a family member who has influenced my life. I chose Mag.

Mamarj - this is the name I gave my mom's mom. Apparently I had everyone else's name down pat but I couldn't/wouldn't say "grandma." She coached and coached me and when I still wouldn't utter the word she longed to hear she gave up and said, "Marjorie, call me Marjorie." At that point I put the two togehter and came up with Mamarj. It stuck. She is a wonderful woman with so much love and wisdom to give. Some of my favorite memories growing up include her.

Michael J. Fox - my first celebrity crush.

Monkees - MTV used to air reruns of the show back in middle school. I was hooked! Davey Jones was my favorite. And my stepsister (18 years my junior) shares the love...she got their boxed DVD collection a few years ago at Christmas.

Mr. Taco - Best. Tacos. Ever. Topped with cilantro, onion, and a wedge of lime. And so cheap! Just north of I-244 on Lewis in Tulsa...go there!

A Thousand Words: September - November

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - L

Labrador Retrievers - As you all know, I have a slight obsession with animals and particularly with dogs. Once upon a time I rescued a chocolate lab and then ended up with a black lab and of course I had to complete the collection and get a yellow one. And they all slept in my bed with me at night. I know, I know...

Latin Geek - Oh yeah. Big. Latin. Geek. Four years in high school. Senior year I took home the first place ribbon in Academics at the OJCL (that's the Oklahoma Junior Classical League for those of you not in the know). I didn't just spend four weekends of my high school career surrounded by other Latin nerds, I competed against them! Academically. That means that while the cool kids were partying and having sex and whatnot I was in a classroom (on a Saturday!) taking tests about Latin grammar and Roman history and Greek mythology and...I need to scan the picture that ran in our local newspaper. Classic! And my Latin teacher, just wait 'til we get to Ms (next week, theoretically)!

Leopard Print - Love it! It has seeped into my home decor, my office at school, my wardrobe. Will be incorporated into my wedding one day. Mark my words.

Limes - I always order lime with my Dr. Pepper at a restaurant.

Lost - I'm a fanatic. Thank goodness this is the last season! I'm so confused and I don't think I can stand another season of more questions. I need answers, people! And what's with them holding off 'til winter to start their seasons. Do they really think they're that good? That people will just sit and wait with bated breath? Yes, they probably do and yes, we definitely will!!!

Meet Chloe

This is the sofa I ordered six weeks and two days ago. In gray. I spent over a month searching for the perfect sofa and loved this one so much I almost bought it in white (I was originally told I couldn't get it in any color other than Ivory or Seafoam). And if you know anything about me and my (in)ability to put food into my mouth without it landing anywhere else, you know I was smitten. Luckily, I later learned that I could get it in the colors once off-limits. I love it and cannot wait for it to arrive. I had to special order it. They said it would take six to eight weeks. I got a call last week that it should arrive in the Houston warehouse by November 13 (precisely eight weeks later) but that they doubted they could deliver it to Tulsa by Thanksgiving. Of course they can't. So I wait. Which hasn't been so bad. My trusty bag chairs have come in handy. But my fuzzy leopard print one kicked the bucket about two weeks in and just this evening my cute polka dotted one gave up. Alas.

But isn't Chloe just lovely?

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - K

Knees - I have bad ones. It all started at the end of my sophomore year of high school. My youth group was playing volleyball one night after church and I landed badly. For weeks I limped around and it felt all wobbly and if I tried to get into a car on the passenger side I would collapse. Finally got around to checking it out and they said there was just fluid built up. I lived with it for years...the limping improved and it would only occassionally "wobble" and I was able to get in and out of cars with ease. Athletic would never be an adjective to describe me, but I played racquetball and tennis and even more volleyball with the bad leg. Sometimes it was okay, sometimes not. Many years later I decided it would be a fantastic idea to play intramural football in my old age. We played in the rain one evening and I heard a pop in my other knee! I limped around for days and when I finally went to get it checked out I was certain I had a torn miniscus. Got an MRI and everything. They said it was fine. I beg to differ. Alas...perhaps when/if I drop some much needed weight my knees will improve but I guarantee you there is something wrong with them!

Kristin - I met her my freshman year of college and lived with her my junior year but it wasn't until J-term of our senior year that we became close. She's creative, has great taste, loves to think and continue learning, is passionate about giving back, has the best advice and knows just what to say, and is one of the most amazing people I've ever know. BFF!