Progress?

It's about this time of year when we think back on the year and ponder resolutions for the future. Does it seem kind of silly that in the past year I have:

~Moved back to a town that I have already moved away from two times?

~Welcomed a foster child back into my home after watching her leave over a year ago?

~Started (re)dating my former eCrush?

2009: Year of Progress or Year of Second Chances?

Marshmallows Are Not For The Faint of Heart

I should have listened. But I never do. Valerie turns out these amazing homemade marshmallows every year at Christmas. They look just like the Williams-Sonoma marshmallows pictured above. I was looking for a low-cost gift for a family get together and decided that if Valerie could do it so could I. But Valerie said it's way harder than it looks. Valerie said she couldn't do it without her husband's assistance. Valerie said using a mixing stand could blow out the motor. Did I listen? Nope. Valerie, my apologies.

8:45 am - Batch #1: So I'm using a slightly different recipe than Valerie. And since my printer isn't hooked up, I copied the directions by hand. Gelatin and water sitting for half an hour, syrup mixture heating up to 240 degrees, all is well. Turn the mixer on low and add the syrup. Beat for 12-15 minutes and add the vanilla during the last minute. Poured it in the sugar-dusted pan and it was about an eighth of an inch thick. Busted out the recipe and realize I forgot to write the following: "Once all of the syrup mixture has been added to the bowl, INCREASE MIXING SPEED TO HIGH and continue to beat for 12-15 minutes. My first batch looks more like Laffy Taffy than marshmallows. It kinda sorta tastes like marshmallows but its texture is more like one of those sticky spiders that you got as a kid and threw on the wall and watched as it globbed its way down.

{The first skinny batch}

3:30 pm - Batch #2: This time I followed instructions to a T. And then I realized exactly why Valerie needs an extra pair of hands. She said that at about 7 minutes into mixing the marshmallows start to climb up the beater (and on into the motor) unless you are able to keep it "mashed down" in the bowl. Less than 5 minutes into my {ahem, HIGH-speed} mixing session it started to rise. I kept my cool and was using a spatula to keep it all down. I was thinking to myself, "Self, you are a natural at marshmallow-making. Self, you should tell Valerie exactly how you're doing this so that it will be easier for her next year. Self, if only you had a free hand available because you should totally give yourself a pat on the back. SELF, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE HEAD OF YOUR SPATULA JUST GOT CAUGHT IN THE BEATERS AND BROKE OFF AND NOW YOUR BOWL IS WOBBLING AND THE MARSHMALLOWS ARE CLIMBING UP THE BEATERS AND ALL YOU HAVE IN YOUR HAND IS A PLASTIC STICK?!?!?!?"

It's okay, readers, I still managed to keep my cool...just a minor setback. I turned the mixer off, fished out the spatula part, grabbed a spoon, and went back to work. I managed to keep the climbing at bay by resting the bottom of my big spoon against the top of the blades. Yep, hubris snuck back in and I was gloating in the fact that I had apparently solved Valerie's biggest marshmallow dilemma. The only issue at this time is that I was fairly sticky from fishing out the spatula bits. With one minute remaining, I was supposed to add a teaspoon of vanilla but my left hand was super sticky and my right hand was dedicated to spoon/beater duty. I grabbed the bottle with my left hand, and opened it with my teeth (totally sanitary, I know). I figured I'd just eyeball the amount, just a splash really, when the bottle hit the side of the spinning bowl and a whole lot more than a teaspoon fell into the batter. "Um...self, any suggestions here?"

{Exhibits A: the plastic stick and B: the pesky bottle of vanilla}

So I turned off the mixer yet again, put a smaller bowl underneath the beaters (in case any blobs of sticky goo dripped off), and inverted the larger marshmallowy bowl over the sink. I think I drained most of the vanilla but there's really no telling just how much remained in the batter. If I thought I was sticky before that I was sadly mistaken. I went ahead and beat the crap out of this brownish mixture for another minute and then I scooped it all into my pan. This batch is much fluffier and taller and all-around more marshmallowy looking than the first, but I'm concerned about the taste. Alas. Also, Valerie's are always level on each side and the top of this batch seems pretty wavy. Oh well. Two down, two to go.

{Better looking, but better tasting? Hmm...}

{Er, did I say better looking? Most definitely before pulling it out of the pan!

But they actually turned into decent mini marshmallows. Could hardly tell how ugly they were beforehand!}

P.S. I used to think that Williams-Sonoma was ripping people off by charging $15 for 27 oversized marshmallows (pictured at the top of the post) but now I'm not so sure. I think that probably the people who are forking over that kind of cash are all people like me who have attempted (and failed!) to make them on their own. Personally, I think $15 is looking like quite the bargain at this point!!!!

...and later in the day...

9:45 pm - Batch #3: I came home from watching a "dollar" movie with Little Miss M and decided I would give it another shot before going to bed. Everything was perfect. I had all sorts of backup utensils lined up in case of emergency. I improved upon my technique (some lessons learned from throwing pottery actually came in handy) and thought I had knocked this one out of the park until.........can you guess what's coming?.............the motor blew on the mixer! Are you freaking kidding me?! Remember Valerie's caveat? Yeah. It was just so thick and I guess it was too much for the poor machine to take. I'm hoping that it just overheated and will work again soon because I borrowed it (oops!).

I still had three minutes remaining and had a whisk on stand by but I had beaters and a spoon and a spatula that needed de-marshmallowing (mainly because there wasn't much left in the bowl at that point) before I could start whisking. I wasn't sure if this lag time would be detrimental to the marshmallows or not but what could I do? I tossed in the (precisely premeasured and at-the-ready!) teaspoon of vanilla and whisked the hell out of that bowl of glop. My arm was killing me after about 30 seconds but I pushed through for a whole minute. I still had two more minutes to go but I figured if it was stiff enough to break the mixer, it was stiff enough for me. It took a while to mush it down in the pan and it still isn't an even surface but whatever. I don't really care anymore. I have enough ingredients to try a fourth time but, again, I don't care anymore. What I care about is alcohol. Tequila. I need a shot of tequila.

{All in all, they turned out just fine. Tasted pretty good, too. But I'm not convinced it was worth it...}

Lessons Learned:

#1 - Valerie is a domestic goddess. When she speaks of marshmallows, she speaks the truth. Write down her every word. I am now recalling that Valerie also said she started using a smaller pan so the finished product would be taller. Hmpf.

#2 - Never handwrite detailed recipes. Print them out!

#3 - Always have a dog or two around for kitchen clean up. (EDIT: apparently dogs do not care for powdered sugar and therefore you must clean up your own marshmallow mess)

#4 - If someone sells it, buy it. No matter the cost!

#5 - If your dear friend gives you a delicious homemade treat, enjoy it and think not about whether you are capable of recreating the deliciousness. You probably aren't.

#6 - Pottery techniques work surpisingly well with a spinning bowl of marshmallow goop. So take as many continuing education classes you can. You never know when they'll come in handy.

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - M

Mag - Mag (pronounced "Mog") was my Latin teacher in high school. Mag is short for "magistra" which means teacher. She is an amazing person and quite possibly the reason I decided to choose a career in education. When I was writing my eHarmony profile I had to talk about someone besides a family member who has influenced my life. I chose Mag.

Mamarj - this is the name I gave my mom's mom. Apparently I had everyone else's name down pat but I couldn't/wouldn't say "grandma." She coached and coached me and when I still wouldn't utter the word she longed to hear she gave up and said, "Marjorie, call me Marjorie." At that point I put the two together and came up with Mamarj. It stuck. She is a wonderful woman with so much love and wisdom to give. Some of my favorite memories growing up include her.

Michael J. Fox - my first celebrity crush.

Monkees - MTV used to air reruns of the show back in middle school. I was hooked! Davey Jones was my favorite. And my stepsister (18 years my junior) shares the love...she got their boxed DVD collection a few years ago at Christmas.

Mr. Taco - Best. Tacos. Ever. Topped with cilantro, onion, and a wedge of lime. And so cheap! Just north of I-244 on Lewis in Tulsa...go there!

A Thousand Words: September - November

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - L

Labrador Retrievers - As you all know, I have a slight obsession with animals and particularly with dogs. Once upon a time I rescued a chocolate lab and then ended up with a black lab and of course I had to complete the collection and get a yellow one. And they all slept in my bed with me at night. I know, I know...

Latin Geek - Oh yeah. Big. Latin. Geek. Four years in high school. Senior year I took home the first place ribbon in Academics at the OJCL (that's the Oklahoma Junior Classical League for those of you not in the know). I didn't just spend four weekends of my high school career surrounded by other Latin nerds, I competed against them! Academically. That means that while the cool kids were partying and having sex and whatnot I was in a classroom (on a Saturday!) taking tests about Latin grammar and Roman history and Greek mythology and...I need to scan the picture that ran in our local newspaper. Classic! And my Latin teacher, just wait 'til we get to Ms (next week, theoretically)!

Leopard Print - Love it! It has seeped into my home decor, my office at school, my wardrobe. Will be incorporated into my wedding one day. Mark my words.

Limes - I always order lime with my Dr. Pepper at a restaurant.

Lost - I'm a fanatic. Thank goodness this is the last season! I'm so confused and I don't think I can stand another season of more questions. I need answers, people! And what's with them holding off 'til winter to start their seasons. Do they really think they're that good? That people will just sit and wait with bated breath? Yes, they probably do and yes, we definitely will!!!

Meet Chloe

This is the sofa I ordered six weeks and two days ago. In gray. I spent over a month searching for the perfect sofa and loved this one so much I almost bought it in white (I was originally told I couldn't get it in any color other than Ivory or Seafoam). And if you know anything about me and my (in)ability to put food into my mouth without it landing anywhere else, you know I was smitten. Luckily, I later learned that I could get it in the colors once off-limits. I love it and cannot wait for it to arrive. I had to special order it. They said it would take six to eight weeks. I got a call last week that it should arrive in the Houston warehouse by November 13 (precisely eight weeks later) but that they doubted they could deliver it to Tulsa by Thanksgiving. Of course they can't. So I wait. Which hasn't been so bad. My trusty bag chairs have come in handy. But my fuzzy leopard print one kicked the bucket about two weeks in and just this evening my cute polka dotted one gave up. Alas.

But isn't Chloe just lovely?

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - K

Knees - I have bad ones. It all started at the end of my sophomore year of high school. My youth group was playing volleyball one night after church and I landed badly. For weeks I limped around and it felt all wobbly and if I tried to get into a car on the passenger side I would collapse. Finally got around to checking it out and they said there was just fluid built up. I lived with it for years...the limping improved and it would only occassionally "wobble" and I was able to get in and out of cars with ease. Athletic would never be an adjective to describe me, but I played racquetball and tennis and even more volleyball with the bad leg. Sometimes it was okay, sometimes not. Many years later I decided it would be a fantastic idea to play intramural football in my old age. We played in the rain one evening and I heard a pop in my other knee! I limped around for days and when I finally went to get it checked out I was certain I had a torn miniscus. Got an MRI and everything. They said it was fine. I beg to differ. Alas...perhaps when/if I drop some much needed weight my knees will improve but I guarantee you there is something wrong with them!

Kristin - I met her my freshman year of college and lived with her my junior year but it wasn't until J-term of our senior year that we became close. She's creative, has great taste, loves to think and continue learning, is passionate about giving back, has the best advice and knows just what to say, and is one of the most amazing people I've ever know. BFF!

She's Back...

and, no, I'm not referring to myself. Although, yes, I'm back at the posting again...finally got Internet in the new house!

Who I am in fact referring to is Little Miss M. Four weeks ago I drove to Tulsa and picked up my current (and former) roommate. The past month has been riddled with a lot of laughs, a lot of shopping, a lot of Dora the Explorer, and a lot of temper tantrums (and not just from her!). It has been quite the adjustment as I had much less time to prepare for her arrival this time around. I'm unsure as to how long she'll be with me this time around, but I'm fairly positive it will be less than the year and nine months she was with me before.

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - J

Japan - my grandmother is Japanese, born and raised in Tokyo. She met my grandfather when he was stationed there during the Korean War. A couple years later, he brought her to America. I hope to travel to Japan with her one day.

Jargon - okay, I actually prefer the term "lingo" but I'm searching for Js here. I love the jargon and acronyms that come with different jobs (take, for example, my job: EOIs, IEPs, AYP, API, ACE, NCLB, etc.), hobbies, and 4-year-old children. Here is what I've decoded so far...
"bweeto" means "burrito"
"cheater" means "cheerleader"
"getty" means "spaghetti"
"mudder" means "mother"
"pock pock" means "backpack"
"pooh-ding" means "pudding"
"scissor" means "sister" and yet "zizzers" means "scissors"

Jeep - still missing Geronimo, may he rest in peace.

Jobs - I just counted and I've held 16 jobs over the years. Not since graduation, mind you. Several were parttime jobs held at night (nothing risque!) for a little extra cash.

June - my birth month. Growing up I always felt jipped because 1) school was out so fewer people came to my parties and 2) the pearl seemed like the lamest gemstone ever. I mean, it's not really even a GEMstone. But now I love that it's the most unique one. Go figure.

Jury Duty - I've never been asked to serve and part of me is very grateful but another part really wants to sit in on a super exciting trial and determine someone's fate. I know...gotta watch what I wish for!

Procrastinator...moi? I think not!

Here's my latest and greatest home project. You may remember this headboard rescued from a family estate sale (for free!):

After letting it sit in storage for over a month, I was finally able to begin its facelift...

a coat of primer...

a couple coats of gloss black...

and a few finishing touches!

The height of it is fairly deceiving. It's taller than me by at least a few inches. Just need to glam up the rest of my room now...

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - I

Iams Dog Food - Healthy Naturals. Weight Control. On sale at Big Lots...$12 a big bag. When I brought home my first dog (a beautiful chocolate lab) I swore I'd feed him nothing but the best and bought Eukanuba. When the one dog became three beautiful labrador retrievers the pricey stuff went out the window. Downgraded to Iams and have bought it ever since. I don't know if this Healthy Naturals is for real or just a big marketing hoax or what. I've been buying it for about a year now and as long as Big Lots has it on sale I'll keep biting.

Incontinence - I fear this may be a problem for me in the future. Just this past weekend I waited a little too long to take a bathroom break. I had been warned that the restrooms at our football stadium were less that sanitary so I thought I could make it home. But before leaving the game I headed over to another friend to chat for a bit. En route to my house I made the executive decision to stop at Arby's and use their facilities. I am ashamed to admit that as I was getting out of my car I may have leaked just a tiny bit. This normally wouldn't concern me too badly as I did have several glasses of sweet tea at dinner and I did spend too much time visiting with my friend. Unfortunately though, I experienced a very similar incident just a few weeks ago on my way home from the family reunion. Depends, anyone?

Indecisiveness - It's a curse. Right now I'm all moved into my cute new house but I have no seating in my living room. Can't decide on the gorgeous white velvet couch or the more durable (and affordable) chocolate brown one. I've known this pesky decision was lurking around the corner for almost two months now but I still can't choose. Going to the video store is a chore. I almost always come home with more than one movie simply because I get tired of trying to pick just one. But going out to eat with me is the worst. Even if I knew I would come back to the same restaurant the next day it would still be difficult for me to pick an entree. Inevitably the server makes at least one decision for me. Really? Am I that immobilized by decision making? Apparently so. And, yes, I do own a Magic 8 Ball.

Insubordination - my last boss accused me of blatantly refusing to follow her directions. That was at the end of our working relationship, thank goodness. I can assure you that I have never blatantly refused to do anything a "superior" has asked me to do. Superior, ha!

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - H

Halloween - my favorite holiday. Not sure exactly when it happened but at some point in my adult life I decided that Halloween was the greatest thing ever. Well, not so much the pagan origins and everything, but to dress up and play pretend. And to decorate the house with dim lights, dust, and cobwebs. I mean, come on! It's the one month I don't feel so domestically-challenged, you know? And I love all the vintage-y halloween decorations out there. Some glittery, some paper mache, none too scary or cutesy-crafty. I've rocked some smokin' costumes in my day...the standard stuffed pumpkin as an infant, both a Snoopy and Witch costume (the kind with the face masks and entirely plastic jumpsuits), a princess with the most amazing hat ever (although now I think it probably just looked like a sparkly dunce cap!). In the mid-80s I'm pretty sure I dressed as a punk rocker three years in a row. And in college my friends and I went as the cast of the Wizard of Oz. I've been a geisha girl and a bag of jelly beans. A couple years ago I won first place in a costume contest for being the Corpse Bride (Tim Burton, anyone?). And just this weekend I came up with an idea for this year's costume whilst sitting in a movie theater.

Harry Potter - Okay, I held out as long as I could before jumping on the band wagon. A friend began reading the series when JK Rowling started putting them out all those years ago and he swore they were amazing. My response was always, "You've got to be kidding me...they're, like, children's books." And then I started working with kids again and a couple of years ago I borrowed each and every book from one of my counselors' aides. And I'm not ashamed to admit that by the fifth book I had myself a little crush on Harry himself.

Harwelden Mansion - this is the fabulous venue where I've wanted to get married forever. Ever since I attended the Pep Club's Spring Fling in the ninth grade. I want a small gathering of my closest friends and family there with a touching (but short) ceremony as the sun sets, a champagne toast, hors d'oeuvres and dancing, followed by a sparkler send-off. Interestingly enough, a good friend of mine had a similar wedding there several years ago. Crazy how great minds think alike! Of course, at this rate I may never get married. So I'm thinking maybe she should just make an extra copy of their wedding album so I can paste my head and that of some gorgeous underwear model's in their pictures and just pretend...

Hiccup Hiccup In My Teacup - So I really just felt like I needed an extra entry...When I got a severe cases of the hiccups a few years back a coworker walked up to me, extended her arms out, offered me an invisible cup of tea, and said, "Hiccup hiccup in my teacup." And the hiccupping ceased. Since then, I've used it on everyone I've run into (with the exception of strangers, of course) and I would say it has a 95% success rate. Try it; you'll like it!

Hooters on Scooters - the baddest, most fabulous gang of scooter gals around! The largest all-female scooter riding group out there. And I'm a part of it. Just one of the HOS. Well, at least I was. Got a couple rides in with those lovely ladies. And a cool t-shirt. But more importantly, their cause (breast cancer research and awareness) is close to my heart (figuratively and literally, I guess). I lost a very dear woman in my life to breast cancer three years ago. And my stepmom has been in remission for a number of years now.

Home Sweet Home

I'm sure you've guessed by now that I'm an ace in the procrastination department. One of my areas of expertise.

So to catch everyone up I got the house (cheers!), the inspection went well, I'm in the new town couch surfing, and now I'm just counting the days until closing (27 to go)...tick, tock, tick, tock.

I attended a computer training a couple of days last week and discovered I'm to report to work, get this, on Tuesday. Where did my summer vacation go? That means tomorrow is the only day I have to get my new office ready. Guess I have to put the zebra stripes on one wall on hold for now. Alas.

But I have had some success in the shopping department and can't wait to start decorating my new digs (in 27 more days, that is).

Wishin' and Hopin' and Thinkin' and Prayin'

I looked at another dozen houses in the new town this week and finally made an offer on this little gem:
They countered, I countered, and now I'm just waiting for their response.

I had hoped to be able to move in before closing and pay rent or something to the sellers for a month but of course I decided on one of the only houses that is actually inhabited. Alas...here's to a month of couch surfing and moving twice (once to storage, once to a --hopefully this--house).

A Rose By Any Other Name

So I ran across one of the lists I started making earlier this year while I was bored at my second job. This particular one is to do with last names I hope never to marry into. I sincerely hope I fall madly, desparately in love one day (sooner rather than later) and cannot wait to exchange vows that will forever connect me to another person and create a new family from that point on. Unless, of course, Prince Charming's last name is one of the following:

Butts (I had a college student with this last name observe my classroom full of 9th graders. You can imagine their snickers)
Dick (enough said)
Funk (by far the least embarrassing of the list, but still...)
Knippelmeyer
Snodgrass
Titsworth (I once had a student by this name. So sad...) or
Weiner

I know, I know, it's so juvenile of me. But I really think if a man by any of those names proposed, I'd definitely have to keep my maiden name. Which is alright, I guess. It's a little unusual so that's good. But I'd love to marry into a distinguished, soap-opera-sounding name like:

Davenport
Valentine or
Winchester

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - G

Gay Bar - so my (totally straight) cousin texted me last week and asked if I'd want to go to see a drag queen show. As it turns out, I did want to go see a drag queen show. My curiosity has been peaked by a friend's stories as well as watching the episode of Sex and the City with the transexual prostitutes. I was envisioning a very glamorous evening of cosmopolitans, a catwalk, and fabulous hair. What I got was a dingy, dimly lit gay bar with awkward people waving dollar bills around and TV monitors with, well I won't go into what was playing on the monitors. To top it off, the queens were less than what I had hoped for. They lip synced and danced (sorta) to songs. Most were bad, a couple were decent, and the one I thought was simply fabulous turned out to be, get this, a real woman! Talk about confusing! The highlight of the evening was when the guy taking the cover charge asked for my ID and he said, "Oh my, I was way off on that one." "I'm sorry?" I asked. "Your age. I always try to guess everyone's age before I look at their ID," he replied. "Oh," I said, "How old did you think I was?" And he said to me, "I seriously thought you were 25 tops. Girl, whatever you're doing, keep on doing it!" I was waiting for a finger snap and bobble head movement but I never got it. I guess I do clean up pretty good after all. The low point of the evening, however, came when my sister and I were leaving the bar together (she drove) and a creepy guy followed us out and asked us if we were "like, uh, lesbians or something?" Ew, we're related! Although given our location, I guess I can't really blame the guy for asking.

Geronimo - ah, my trusty Jeep. My companion for over seven (count 'em, 7!) years. I really miss being in an SUV these days. I'm not so sure that the savings in gas mileage is really worth it or not. And his storage capacity! No way his windshield would have cracked under the pressure of fitting in an awkward piece of furniture. I miss him. At least he died a hero. He went out in a blaze of glory. Okay, okay, it was more like a puff of smoke that left me stranded on the highway.

Greta (the Jetta) - my newest liege. So far so good except for, of course, that pesky windshield incident...bygones! I'm envisioning many years of her company. I don't talk to her or pat her quite as much as I did Geronimo but I'm sure time will change that.

Guilty Conscience - I don't know what it is but I almost always feel like people are watching me when I'm out shopping. Like they're just waiting for me to shoplift something. Even though I know certain stores make bogus announcements like, "Security, sweep section four," I always freak out and wonder if I'm in section four. I worry about draping my jacket over my arm if I'm too hot because I don't want them to think I'm trying to cover up something I'm trying to swipe. I wonder why I carry such a big purse because that's gotta be a sure sign I want to fill it up with "freebies." I wonder why that woman (she must be undercover security) keeps walking by me because she's gotta be checking to see if I'm trying to put a lipstick in my pocket or something. I know, I know, major paranoia. Where did it come from?! I mean, there was the incident with the Snoopy pencil set thing I was like seven or something but that's been over 25 years ago! I mean seriously, what gives?!

The Kid Is Ten!

Ethan turned the big one-oh yesterday. Double digits, people! It's been years since I've been able to celebrate his actual birthday with him. And after spending the evening with nine 9-year-olds, it may be years 'til I do it again. I'm so not joking...

The balloons on his cake reminded me of some of the pictures I've seen on Cake Wrecks!

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - F

Family Reunion - in August all of my grandmother's siblings and their respective offspring will head to Arkansas for our not-so-annual family reunion. Used to get together almost yearly but as time has gone by it's been less and less often. I skipped a few during my college years and beyond and only attended the last one in 2004 because it was in town. But I'm biting the bullet and heading east this year. I even signed up to be in charge of the t-shirts and family photo session. Go figure!

Farfegnugen - Greta the Jetta = pure German driving pleasure. Minus, of course, the cracked windshield.

Foster Kids - A few years back I decided to sign up to be a foster parent. There were a couple of different reasons that all collided at the time and I decided to go for it. Definitely the most meaningful experience of my life to date. It was so, so hard and there were times I was ready to give in but having those little girls in my life for what little time I did was so amazing. I'm in awe of my mother for raising both me and my sister on her own and think all single parents deserve medals. It's a crazy business!

Miss K. Only had her for six weeks but she was a firecracker! Such big eyes and a twangy little voice.

Little Miss M. Got her two days after her 1st birthday and had her for almost two full years. She still has my heart.

FREE - How can you pass up free stuff?! Here's my lastest free find...the awfully tacky headboard that is soon to be transformed into what will hopefully be pretty posh in an Urban Outfitters kind of way once it receives its glossy black paint job. Thoughts?

F*ck - For those of you who may not know I do indeed have a potty mouth. And my wordy dird of choice seems to be f*ck. Not freak, not frig, not eff, but f*ck. I don't know excactly when it creeped into my vocabulary but having worked with the people I have for the past four years (not talking about the children, mind you) it just rolls off my tongue now. It's kind of liberating for some odd reason. When I stub my toe: "F*ckin' A!" When I'm ready to give up, "F*ck it." And my personal favorite, when someone cuts me off on the highway: "F*ckwad!!!"

Designed to Sell

This sign was found in my attic shortly after I moved in. This is how my house got her name!

Well, the house is sold. Signed all the papers this morning. Never even got to be listed. Loraine is that amazing. Still taking care of me all these years later! Closing on the 24th. That gives me two and a half weeks to find a new place to live. Brilliant. Just brilliant. I'm living in a sea of boxes right now.

I'm sad but I know it's time to move on. I cried the night before the offer was officially delivered but I haven't since. Eight years. I know it's just a house but she's so much more than that to me. I realize I have a problem of personifying inanimate objects but Loraine is definitely deserving! My protector, my shelter, my independence.

Loraine Body Normalizer Service (no longer) Here.

No longer AWOL

Well hello there, strangers!

It's been a busy, busy few weeks for me. Brief (okay, it'll probably be fairly lengthy) recap...

My last day at school was June 10th. Yeehaw!

Had my final "interview" with my new Superintendent on Monday the 15th and was officially offered the position. Even filled out some payroll paperwork. That evening I met up with an old college buddy for the first fitting of my ninth bridesmaid dress.

Tuesday the 16th I looked at 13 homes up for sale in the new town. My mind was a jumbled mess before it was all said and done. The top two contenders were the first (a koi pond in the back yard!) and last (the street I always wanted to live on!) of our three-hour tour. Came home that night to discover there were two birds in my house. Birds. In. My. House. Luckily I was able to shoo one out (I think I even said, "Shoo!" more than once) and the other I was able to scoop up in a plastic bag and release outside. They couldn't have been there long because I found only a couple of dribbles of bird poo. Sadly, the next day I saw Wilbur munching on something that looked an awful lot like that baby birdie. :(

On the 17th a local realtor came to take a look at Loraine and we came up with a general game plan. Selling as-is with an inspection done beforehand so buyers know what to expect. Although I won't make as much money as I had hoped, I'll still make a profit and I won't have to start any projects. But she did recommend I clear my fencline of the jungle that has overtaken it. Gulp.

On the 18th I had my annual check up and the good doctor told me she was concerned about my enlarged thyroid. Had blood taken and tested (second year in a row) but all levels are normal. She still recommends that I see my primary care physician about it. Still on my to-do list.

On Friday my mom, stepsister, and nephew showed up and we loaded two truck beds with boxes and tubs and random bits of furniture and took it to storage in the new town. Including one terribly tacky headboard I cannot wait to funkify. Hope it turns out as great as I'm imagining it. Pictures to come.

Last Saturday I went to a baby shower for an old friend, cleared out the rest of my office at school, and then prepared to tackle my overgrown, weed-infested, outta control ivy piece of property. My mom showed up that evening followed shortly by my stepfather, stepsister, and nephew. We made some serious progress in just a couple of hours. My mom decided to stay overnight so she could get started again first thing in the morning. After a couple of margaritas she decided it would be a great idea to paint the floor of the front porch. So at around 10PM on Saturday night my mom and I did it. What is sad is that I always envisioned it to be such a daunting task so I kept putting it off. But now, eight years later and just before I move away, I have a front porch that is one consistent color and it took us all of an hour, start to finish. Go figure.

On Sunday we completed clearing the fenceline and other yard stuff and then hauled six truckloads to the Greenwaste Dump with Chris's help. Yes. Six truckloads. I know. Wow. Now if just anyone walked up to my yard and looked around they'd think there was still a lot left to be desired. But I wish I had a before pic to show you, folks, it's a million times better!

On Monday my friend Mindy came over to help me clean because the realtor was due back on Tuesday for a home inspection and a staging appointment later in the day. Laurie, my realtor, surprised me by telling me she wanted to show Loraine to a prospective buyer the next day. She's not even on the market yet! But this guy is looking to buy in the neighborhood and can make a CASH offer and even though there's a lot more work to do on my house than he's looking for, there is huge potential here. When the stager came by at 2PM she basically said my furniture placement and decorating skills were great (yes, I tried to pat myself on my back). I just needed to clean, dust, and declutter a bit. Gulp. If you know me at all, you know that cleaning, dusting, and decluttering are things I know nothing of. At least Mindy was around again to help out!

Sure enough, my realtor brought the prospective buyer over yesterday and he's really interested. A little skeptical about the scope of work left to be done but definitely interested. They're coming back tomorrow with a contractor who'll provide him with some estimates. Keep your fingers crossed, ladies and gentleman. Wouldn't it be spectacular if Loraine sold without even being on the market? This little old lady (the house, not my realtor -- she's actually quite young) never ceases to amaze me. I also enjoyed a belated Father's Day lunch with my dad. He's a difficult man to shop for so when I find something he likes he receives it over and over and over. I think this is the third (if not fourth) year of same cologne. It's okay, he says he loves it!

Today I scootered my way over to mom's house and we had a garage sale. Not too shabby for something we basically just threw together. We closed it down at 1:00 when the driveway was no longer shaded by the trees. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Mostly I'm just trying to get rid of stuff. Isn't it crazy how much crap you can accumulate as the years go on?

I'm headed down to Texas this weekend to hang with old college roomies and hopefully catch my breath for a day or two. Should be back to my alphabet on Sunday. I know Frankie's dying to know if he has a cameo in the Fs.

Good News/Bad News

Good News: I bought an AWESOME desk at a thrift store last night
Bad News: I cracked the windshield trying to stuff it into my car

Good News: I'm going to take the new job
Bad News: Everyone at work already seems to know about it

Good News: I will be celebrating my birthday with dear friends and tasty beverages tomorrow
Bad News: I will be 34

Good News: Olive the Cat is scheduled to be spayed on June 15th
Bad News: I suspect that Olive the Cat is pregnant again

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - E

So much for weekly posting...

E

Elephant - I can remember a trip to the zoo where I got to ride on an elephant with my dad. So big and tall. Lumbering slowy in a big circle. And elephants just seem like kind animals. It's their eyes, I think. So big. So blinky. Long lashes. Except now that I think about it maybe it was a camel I rode on. With my stepmother?

English Bulldog - I want one. Brindle with white spots. And I shall call her Stella. Or maybe Lola.

Ephemera - this is one of my favorite words. It just rolls off the tongue..."ephemera." Go ahead, try it. And the definition! "transitory written and printed matter not intended to be retained or preserved"...basically it's just old paper stuff. Discarded photos, cards, tickets, advertising, bingo cards, etc. Perfect for all sorts of crafts. And it's collectible!

Eric - my brother. One of my favorite guys. Quite the guy. Double majored in finance and marketing. Ended up in China teaching English. Currently in seminary. Wow. A man of few words. But the words are witty.

Ethan - my nephew. Another one of my favorite guys. He is an engineer at heart. From the time he was two he was spinning anything he could get his hands on...coins, buttons, tops, etc. Then it was assembling Hot Wheels tracks into monster race courses. Now he's moved on to K'nex. An engineer, I tell ya. Mark my words...

Extravaganza - I cannot help but say this word in my head in a booming car salesman's voice. Everytime I write it or see it it's an ex-TRAVA-ganza!!!!!

Two Words...

First Monday. In Canton. With my spud bud. Does life get any better than this?! Can't wait to experience Canton and take a break from my icky job and even ickier decisions to make. Anthropologie, IKEA, and The Cloverleaf are all in our future. And I get to hang with my awesome aunt and uncle, maybe take a dip in their pool, maybe feast at Joe T's. The possibilities are endless...

Decisions, Decisions!

If you've ever been out to eat with me you know how much of an ordeal it can be. I can narrow it down to two or three choices but then I hem and haw. I don't want to pick the wrong thing! And even though I go to the same places over and over again, the decision-making process doesn't get any easier. I usually end up giving my choices to the server and having him/her choose for me. Although I know the dinner decision will not make or break my life course, it seems SO important at that moment. So imagine how difficult it would be for me to have to choose between two boys (that's another post in and of itself. Let's move on.)...or two jobs...or two towns. Yowza!

Pros about Staying: my house, my family, life in the big city, my spud bud Val, bunko, scooter chicks, Pepper's Grill.

Pros about Going: job happiness (what's the phrase I'm looking for?), my dear friends, dinner club, life in a small town, better gas mileage, a fresh start, Billy Boy's (mmm).

Cons about Staying: my house (hot in the summer, cold in the winter. And oh-so-many projects!), hating my job more and more every day (next year would only be worse), the commute is starting to wear on me too.

Cons about Going: dating is hard enough in a big city (are there even any men in the little town?!), I'd miss my sweet nephew Ethan so much, what if I don't sell/rent out my house (financial destruction = self implosion)?

Anything I'm leaving out? Feel free to comment. I think I can hold 'em off a day or two.

At times like these I wish I had a Magic 8 Ball...

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - D

D

Dave Matthews Band - I am in love. Enough said.

Dill Pickles - I love, love, love me some dill pickles! Not sweet pickles, not bread and butter pickles. Dill pickles. Ah...when I was a kid I'd go to my grandparents' house after school and I'd scoop out some of Mamarj's homemade pickles and eat them with ranch dressing (I was a visionary, I tell ya!). Not much has changed over the years. When I go to Mazzio's and hit the salad bar I load up on their perfectly chopped bite-size pickles and ranch. Mmmmm...I think I'm salivating a bit here. And you know you have great friends when you're at lunch and they offer up their own pickle just because of the sheer joy it gives you. Thanks, Steph!

Dogs - I've always loved dogs and have almost always had them growing up and as a grown up. They're so cute. And sweet. And so loving. Even if you've had a rotten day and don't spend as much time as you should with them, they're there with those big understanding eyes and a wagging tail. Just hoping they can do something, anything, just to make it better for you. Also, I collect porcelain dog figurines. Of the vintage variety and not so much of the dollar store variety. I have just gone room by room and counted 20 of them. In bookcases, under cloches, on pedestals. They're everywhere! Just as they should be.

Drinking - Except for the occassional stolen swig of schnapps from my dad's kitchen when a friend spent the night or a random sip of beer (with some adult's permission) or the accidental glass of champagne I got at my stepaunt's wedding reception (I honestly thought it was a punch fountain! And I only took the one sip.). I really never drank alcholic beverages until I turned 21. Even then, as a student at a faith-based college, I rarely did. After college I loosened up a bit but I was never going to be mistaken for a party girl. Not until the last couple of years have I ever really experienced being intoxicated. And thankfully (knock on wood) I have yet to experience a hangover or sleeping next to a toilet. It's not a goal I have. And drinking is just too dang expensive to make a habit out of it.

Driving - Ugh. Driving is one of my least favorite things. I spend at least an hour a day in my car on my way to and from both jobs and various errands. I feel trapped. And I get angry. Yes, I suppose the term "road rage" could be used to describe me. And I'm not so great at it, to tell you the truth. I've backed into my fair share of parked vehicles. As much as I dislike driving I did, however, plan and execute a long road trip a couple of years back. I traveled to FL to pick up my best friend, meandering through towns of interest and stopping to visit friends along the way. Once I got to her, we headed to New Orleans together and then continued on to TX. I actually really enjoyed that trip, even the 8-hour legs on any given day. I don't think there was much road rage on that trip, even in the places I was unfamiliar with. Wonder what the difference is. Hmmm...

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - C

C

Cat, as in "That Darned Cat!" - I've snuck into my neighbors' overgrown yard FIVE times now to open a window and let my cat out. Her entrance has been barricaded more than once but nothing seems to stop her. Five times! I think it's time Olive finds herself a new home. And, no, I'm not referring to my neighbors' creepy abandoned home.

Concerts - I love, love, love live music. The first concert I ever went to was Michael W. Smith in the 9th grade. Although my music tastes have changed quite a bit since then my love of the concert experience has not. In the last couple of years I've had the pleasure of seeing Dave Matthews Band (2x, with and without Tim Reynolds!), U2, Sarah MacLaughlin, Indigo Girls (2x), Rufus Wainwright, Ben Folds, Coldplay (2x), Cat Power, Gnarls Barkley, The Flaming Lips, Damien Rice, Feist, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Eli Young Band, James Blunt, Sheryl Crow, New Kids on the Block, Shiny Toy Guns, The All-American Rejects, and (most recently) Matt Costa.

Crafts - I need to make more time for me to unleash my creative side. I'm drawn to all types of crafts and am in awe of those of my friends who excel in one area or another. Val and her quilts, Kristin and her purses, Adrian and her photography, Ashley and her painting, etc. And now that my eyes have been opened to the world of bloggers, I'm inspired each and every day by someone new. I would love to delve into a particular area (maybe mixed media collage?) and find out I had some talent in that area.

Crushes - I've been making a lot of lists these days while at my second job. I'm sure many of these lists will become their own posts in the future, but since this one is "brought to you by the letter C" I thought I'd include a chronological list of my crushes here. I wish that the intensity of school age crushes would stay with you on into adulthood. It would make the whole dating over the age of 30 thing much more fun. But probably a bit more dangerous. Hmmm...here goes:
4th grade - Kelsey H. and Jay B.
5th grade - Kelly L. (he moved away that year)
6th grade - John S. I remember he sat behind me and over one row in our reading class. I checked the clock above his head at least 15 times a class period just to get one more glimpse of him.
7th grade - Marcus M. and Ed K.
8th grade -Michael M. and Mike H.
9th grade - James W. and Phil G. This particular crush lasted until...
Junior year (college) - Mike C.
Senior year (college) - Michael F.
Post-college - Jon W. and (much further down the road) Chris B.
As with most crushes, the majority of my feelings for these boys were unrequited. I dated only three of them. And I've had relationships since, but there's still nothing like that feeling of butterflies aflutter in the pit of your stomach when you anticipate running into your crush in the hall between classes or whenever/wherever you might see him. My palms would start to sweat and I'd begin to hyperventilate. As much as I hoped they speak to me I equally hoped they wouldn't because I was absolutely sure that nothing intelligible or intelligent would escape my lips. Ah, the good ol' days.

Courtney's Menagerie

Sitting there at my oh-so-busy second job I came up with a list of all the pets I've had since I graduated from college. There is no other word to describe it other than sad. Just plain old sad.

1. An aquarium full of fish - I've always been fascinated with fish. When I was little I would sneak into my parents' bedroom and scoop the fish out to pet them. *died of natural causes*
2. Jake the stray cat. *given away* (to my sister when I moved in with my grandparents)
3. Murphy the chocolate lab who suffered from separation anxiety. A master escape artist.***
4. Winnie the Pug. She was pug-shaped but brindle. *returned*
5. Mali the Chesapeake Bay Retriever. High maintenance. She bit me. I almost killed her with rat poison (not on purpose! Not even after she bit me.) *returned*
6. Milo the black lab. He was dumb and gangly but god I loved him!***
7. Tucker the growth-stunted chocolate lab. I think he was fed crack as a baby. I would wake up to terrible commotions and found him (numerous times) on top of my dining room table shredding anything that was lying on it. *returned*
8. Ty(son) the white lab. I say white because he was white. With blue eyes. Not sure what he was mixed with but he was beautiful.***
9. Winston the pug/something ugly. *returned*
10. Hopalong the bunny. *given away*
***I had Murphy, Milo, and Ty (my complete lab collection) for quite awhile. When I took the job as a dorm director I couldn't have any pets on campus so I had to find homes for them. It was the hardest week of my life.
11. Casper the cockapoo. After four months without a pet I tried smuggling this puppy in. After one week I knew it wasn't going to work. He barked constantly. I had to go back to my apartment every hour to restart my dryer to muffle as much of his noise as I could. *given away* (to my sister)
12. Sushi the carnivorous betta fish (he hopped up and caught a fly!). My friend Amy thinks living without pets is the worst so she bought me this betta to keep me company. *died of natural causes*
13. Bijou. My wonderful, adorable, fat black pug. I smuggled her into the dorm. She ate everything in sight but she was quiet!
14. Becker. My fawn pug with an attitude. Very photogenic though. *Hit by a car*
15. Wilbur. "Some Pug." My fawn pug with one eye. Given to me by a breeder (through Amy) because his eye was scratched by a littermate. He is the sweetest little loverboy.
16. Suki. *returned* In a moment of weakness I checked petfinder.com out and came home with another fat pug. Wait...hold the phone, folks! She wasn't fat...she was preggers! Which led to...
17. Humphrey, *sold*
18. Buster, *sold*
19. Bing (the runt) *died of natural cause*
20. Greta, *sold* and
21. Ingrid. *sold* {for all you math geniuses out there that's nine, count 'em, nine pugs in my house at one time. Ay, ay, ay!}
22. Olive the tabby cat. Who sneaks into the abandoned house next door forcing me to break and enter every other week (FOUR TIMES now!!!). Who didn't get spayed soon enough and spewed forth...
23. Dolce, *given away*
24. Gabbana, *given away*
25. Dooney, *given away* and
26. Bourke. *given away*

26 animals in 12 years (24 in 9 years). This is bad, folks. Real bad. I have a sickness. My name is Courtney and I'm a petaholic. Better than a PETaphile, no?

For the record, only three animals live with me now. And all but one (Bijou) were adopted/fostered through rescue organizations and shelters. Writing all this down makes me realize just how wishy-washy I am truly am. I'm ashamed at all the times I typed the word "returned." Pet ownership is serious stuff and I shouldn't have taken it as lightly as I did.

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life - B

B

Bijou - Bijou is the name I gave to my precious black pug. She's four and a half years old now and already started to gray around her face and stomach. I got her in the beginning of October 2004 and nicknamed her Boo. Somewhere along the way I dropped the Boo and reverted back to Bijou but my family still refers to her as Boo. I was living on campus as a dorm director when I bought her (she's the only dog I've ever purchased from a pet store. I usually adopt my animals but I simply couldn't resist when I saw her sitting in that glass box) and not allowed to have pets in the dorm. So I did what I had to do...I smuggled her in (a pug smuggler, ha!) and kept her a (relative) secret for the nine months I continued to live there. She's a big gal at around 28 pounds. Each year we go to the vet for her check up I get the same lecture...she really shouldn't be putting on any additional weight...but I stopped listening because he's been saying that for the last three years (and at least the last eight or so pounds!).

Bridesmaid, as in "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride." - I have had the distinct pleasure and honor of standing up at the altar with Amber, Deanna, Stephanie, Sarah, Mom, Jenny, Janessa, and Kristin as they've vowed to commit their lives to their men. This fall I'll be at it again with Courtney O. And while I hope to one day have my own wedding, for the time being I'm content with the fact that all these lovely ladies (I thought there was a 10th one in there somewhere) are happily married all these years later.

Bungalow - I live in a craftsman bungalow built in 1920. Her name is Loraine (from a sign we found in the attic). She's got 9-foot ceilings and incredible crown moldings (at least a foot tall in the living and dining rooms), hardwoods throughout (although they've been damaged pretty badly in the bathroom and kitchen), french doors out to the wraparound front porch and out to the side porch, a sleeping porch off my bedroom (that I use as a dressing room), and built in cabinetry and columns in my dining room. I love her, I love her, I love her, despite the cold winters and hot summers. But it's been a lot of work and there's so much more to go. I don't know that I'll ever get a profit out of her. But she's been worth it all.

Bunco/Bunko - No matter how you spell it, I have the pleasure of being a part of the greatest group of Bunko babes ever. I look forward to spending time with these lovely ladies every month, with or without Amber's Chinese acrobats. I have also been nominated to host October bunkos from here on out (See "H" for Halloween in a couple of months). I began playing bunko as a sub for my aunt's group some 10 or 15 years ago. Every once in a while our family gathers to play around the holidays.

Buttercup - My 2008 cream-colored Kymco People 150. I was hit with the scooter bug thanks to my friends Valerie and Doug. Ever since they sent out Christmas photos of themselves on their scooters five or so years ago, I knew I would one day own a scooter. And really, who doesn't want to be as cool as Val and Doug? Read about my relationship with Buttercup here.

Do Diaper Cakes Taste Like Crap?

This question was posed after I updated my facebook status awhile back. Hmmm...

I don't know if they're considered passe now or not, but diaper cakes are still my favorite baby shower gift to give and create. Here are a few that I've done most recently.

For baby Harper:For baby Cash: For baby Derek:

Inspiration Strikes

It doesn't strike all that often but I was sitting at home on Friday night and around 8:00 I thought to myself, "Self, it's about time you got around to painting those bottom cabinets in the kitchen." It should be noted that I decided less than a month ago that I should definitely paint my lower cabinetry black. To have conceived, started, and completed (!) a project within a month is a record. Procrastination is my middle name for sure.

Here's a before pic (please excuse the mess and disregard the dog-scratched door in the background):
And the after pic (Decidedly cleaner, no? And, yes Mom, I know I need to properly secure the insert between the cabinet doors under the sink!) :
Look at my little Wilbur peering up from the bottom of the photo. Ain't he cute?!

My favorite part of the whole process is that dirty old dishwasher. You can switch the paneling from white to black or almond to stainless. They sure were innovative back in the 80s, eh?

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life

A couple of years ago I stumbled across this book by Amy Krouse Rothenthal. It's a memoir of her rather ordinary life all neatly organized and alphabetized. I thought it'd be fun to do weekly posts of my own ordinary life. This will hopefully also serve as an incentive for me to post more regularly. I'd planned on starting on Sunday and now I'm already a few days behind so we'll see if it really works. But at least I won't be able to claim writer's block. At least not for another 26 weeks...

A

Airconditioning - Loraine, my little old house, does not have central heat and air. Summers are horrible; I can hardly bear them. I have a couple of window units but it just isn't the same. I think it's partly to blame for why I spend all my money at the beginning of the summer. Just looking for somewhere to go to get out of the dreadfully sticky heat that is my house.

Airstream - I don't know when it started...10 years ago maybe...but it is my mission in life to procure a vintage Airstream travel trailer and fix it up. I'd be equally happy traveling to both ends of Route 66 in it or having it sit in my backyard as a craft studio/guest house. I am beginning to have quite the Airstream paraphernalia collection: I have an Airstream pendant necklace (one of my favorite pieces of jewelry), a couple of Airstream birdhouses, coffee table books, and a strand of Airstream porch lights. Oh yeah.

Altered Art - glass pebble magnets, mixed media collages, altered tins, altered books. I want to create!

Apple - I like apples alright. Red Delicious are my favorite, then Galas, then the Pink Lady. I do not like green apples unless they are submerged in caramel and chocolate and nuts (oh, Kim, I miss you and your apples!). But I would never, ever name my child after a fruit.

Australia - on my list of places to go to.

Home Sweet Home(s)

All my little furbabies have found their forever (I hope!) homes...

Dooney and Bourke ended up at a ranch just outside of Ada. I hear they're doing well despite the fact that it appears their names have been swapped.

With Kristin coming into town I was under the gun trying to find someplace for the other two before she arrived. She's allergic and since she was going to be in a wedding, it wasn't the best time for sneezing or puffy eyes. A friend at work (from whom I got Olive) thought she had some contacts but everything fell through so I asked another lady at work if she could at least keep them for the weekend. I dropped them off with her Thursday at school and a teacher who had previously declined my offer a super cute FREE kitten was subjected to their utter cuteness and ended up taking Gabbana (now Torres) home with her. Dolce went home, presumably just for the weekend, with Teri and when I called her this afternoon to see about picking her (or him, can't really tell yet) up, she said they wanted to keep her. Her/his new name is Gizmo. Yay!

Olive had been missing again since midweek. I knew I'd find her at the neighbors' and today I rescued her for the third time. These elusive neighbors of mine have returned home since my last rescue mission because curtains have been replaced and the crawl space access was boarded up. I assume that's how Olive had been getting in but maybe not because I would think that if she had been inside when they showed up she'd at least be kicked out if not shot. Hmm...She came home and immediately started looking around for Dolce and Gabbana. Started meowing and everything. It was really sad. But she seems okay now, especially since her belly's full again. From food, not more babies!!! So I guess I haven't found homes for all my furbabies quite yet...

Just One of the HOS

Last weekend I took part in my first organized scooter ride! There were eight of us HOS (Hooters on Scooter members) and we traveled from Brookside up to Skiatook. Having never ridden in proper formation and having just gotten Buttercup up and running since last summer (for shame, for shame!) I was a bit nervous. The way up we peaked at 45 mph and I think I handled it pretty well. We stopped at a Mexican restaurant in Skiatook and had a little snack before heading back.


The trip home, however, was a bit more nerve-wracking for me. First off, a wasp landed on my chest and I was trying not to freak out. I assumed it would fly off pretty quickly but it did not. It slowly crawled its way up my jacket and closer and closer to my neck. I was having visions of going into anaphylactic shock and careening into a ditch once again (the ditch part, not the anaphylaxis). As it crept to my collar and started its way INTO my jacket, I finally pulled over and swatted it off. The two girls behind me had to pull over with me and I felt a little silly explaining the situation. Crisis averted, I got back on the road and soon found myself doing 60 mph to keep up with everyone. Yikes! But I survived. And I even felt brave enough to scoot my way over to my second job later in the week.

Still Standing

Been awhile since I've had time to post. Mostly because I started a new job with the US Census Bureau. Who knew you had to be sworn in and promise to defend our constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic, in order to call people, make hotel reservations, fax stuff, file stuff, and type? But at least I'm getting paid for it. I'm trying to knock out my credit card debt and decided to bite the bullet and get a second job. But it's been hard juggling the two jobs and taking care of all the other stuff there is to do. I didn't really realize all the other stuff there is to do until I had no time left in which to do it. Especially when my front door fell off its hinges. Thank goodness for handy stepdads!

Looking forward to:
* my first HOS (that's Hooters on Scooters) ride this Sunday. Finally got a new battery and ol' Buttercup started right up. Needs a bit of air in her tires and she's ready to roll! I can't wait!!!
*my BFF coming to T-town next week. She's in a wedding but is staying with me.
*finding homes for the rest of the kitties. I sent Dooney and Bourke to live on a farm last weekend. And I do mean that in the literal sense. Now they cohabitate with 27 horses, a bunch of pygmy goats, some dogs, and three FAT cats.
*summer vacation!!! Only eight weeks (ugh) to go...

Here Kitty, Kitty

I woke up on Sunday morning, went to the kitchen, let my puggies outside, fixed a bottle of kitten formula, went to the living room, sat on the couch, and leaned over to pick up a kitten to start feeding. But they were missing! I shot up and frantically began to search the living room floor like a mad woman, under the couch, under the chair, and in the gas fireplace (God forbid!). Then I had flashbacks to my snake sighting last fall. But surely one snake couldn't eat ALL four babies, right? Then, in a moment of clarity, I recalled that Olive had been prowling around in my bathroom the night before...

Please excuse the mess. Yes, that is indeed a paint tray sitting on the floor. Intended for a paint job I'll probably never begin...

Notice the random boxes in and behind the wire basket.

Yes, the basket previously inhabited by boxes of tampons, pads, and extra rolls of toilet paper is now occupied by Olive and her fashionable offspring (from left to right: Bourke, Gabbana, Dooney (well, his ear mostly), and Dolce).

Paying It Forward

I recently received a fun gift from fellow Bunco Babe Lauren. I was one of the winners in her 'pay it forward' experiment. You can find her post here.

She gave me some super cute note cards, carrot body butter and lip balm. Can't wait to use all three, Lauren. Thanks!

If you're interested in this experiment, here are the official "rules": The exchange focuses on doing an act of kindness without expecting anything in return other than that the recipient will, in their turn, pass the kindness along and pay it forward.

This is how it works... I will send something fun/cute/nice to the first 3 blog owners post a comment on this entry. I'm already coming up with a list of a few of my favorite things! In turn, those three will post this information on their blog and pick 3 people they want to send something to and so on. Unfortunately, due to postage costs, I can only pay it forward within the United States (shouldn't be a problem, as I doubt I have any readers abroad).

So, if you want to join in the fun be one of the first 3 blog owners to leave a comment (geez, I hope I have three readers!). The little something you send can be something you made, bought, given or found. Just a gift that will make the person smile. There are no cost restraints, but don't go crazy! Again, if you'd like to join in, be one of the first 3 people to leave a comment. You have to promise that you will then post about it once you received your gift, link to me, and then send something to the first three people who sign up.

Courtney Marie And Some Sneaky Peaky Spying

For those of you who aren't familiar with Junie B. Jones and her escapades, find a book now and start reading. If a kindergardener, er, first grader can be someone's hero, Junie B. is mine!

As you know, last Sunday Olive the cat went out for an afternoon jaunt around the neighborhood and never came back home. Sunday evening found me searching the aisles of Walmart for kitten formula. For the past eight days I have fed, bathed (sort of), and coaxed these babies to pee and poop. Did you know that kittens can't go to the bathroom on their own? It's why mama kitties lick them constantly. I know...ew. So I've been waking up to feed them and, uh, "stimulate" them and make sure the heating pad is turned on again in the middle of the night. I thought perhaps that Olive had a severe case of postpartum depression or ran away with the tomcat across the street or even was flattened on a street somewhere. I was prepared to foster these little furbabies for another week before they are weened onto solid foods.

But lo and behold, an angel appeared before my eyes this afternoon! On my way up the sidewalk to my porch I happened to look over to my next door neighbors' house and there was Olive, baby mama, basking in the sunlight. Atop a bookcase. In the neighbors' living room. Abandoned living room. I almost wept for joy but the task of actually procuring my cat sidetracked me. I haven't seen my neighbors in a few months now. A couple of weeks ago a lady knocked on my door, handed me a business card, and asked me to call her if I ever see them again. Curious, no? So, back to the empty house...I went up the front steps, knocked on the door and then apprehensively turned the knob...no luck. Around the side yard and up their back steps I went. No answer there and that door was locked too. I kept going around until I came to the window where I saw her. She was still there, twisted whiskers and all. The screen was slightly ajar and so I took a deep breath and proceeded to break in. The window was unlocked (thankfully) and I was able to open it just enough for Olive to shimmy her way out. And she's so thin now that I didn't have to open it much. Then I worked my way back around to the front. Hope none of the neighbors thought I was trying to break and enter. Or steal someone else's pet.

So she's back home. She made a beeline for her food bowl and then hopped right into the kittens' basket. I don't think she has any milk but I wonder if she can get it back? At least she can take on the cleaning and bathroom duties even if I still have to feed her furbabies. She's already tried to slip outside again but I will have none of it...not until those babies can do their own business!

That Darn Cat!

Olive went out for her daily jaunt around the neigborhood on Sunday afternoon and still hasn't come home. Her little furbabies are depending on me to keep them alive. So far, so good. At first I wasn't convinced they were going to make it. They were barely eating the kitty formula I got for them. But by Tuesday they were either too hungry to keep protesting or they finally got the hang of the little bitty bottle thing. But now I have to "stimulate their genitalia" before and after feedings so they'll go to the bathroom. I think that's really going above and beyond the call of duty. I'd much rather slap a diaper on the little babies.

Still looking for home for the little guys. Seriously, I don't know how many of you there are out there but if you know of anyone who might be interested, lemme know!

NKOTB...The Right Stuff!

I had just settled in for a quick catnap yesterday afternoon (they're becoming much too frequent these days) when my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number so I let it go to voicemail. I decided to go ahead and check the message and it's a good thing I did because...my fellow bunco babe Shelley was calling to see if I was still interested in going to the New Kids on the Block concert. For free. In a suite. Uh, heck yes!

So I met her and her work buddies there. First time I've ever been in a suite for any event. Pretty posh. There was a group in the suite next door who had gone all out and were decked out in 80s garb...side ponytails, mini skirts and leggings, big day glo jewelry, etc.

First off, I loved me some NKOTB back in the day. I'm pretty sure I practiced the dance they did in "The Right Stuff" video. And Donnie Wahlberg was one of my biggest celebrity crushes growing up (second only to Michael J. Fox). In fact, I was elated when he starred in NBC's Boomtown for the lone season it ran. And even though the Saw movies really creep me out, I loved watching him in them. Yes, ladies, I still think he's got it (Oh, oh, oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh oh). Here are a few of my thoughts of the NKOTB concert experience:

1. The Jabbawockeez opened for them. I love, love, love MTV's "America's Best Dance Crew" and these boys were Season One's big winners. I so wish I was a hip hop dancer. Or a b-girl. Or could at least moonwalk. Their performance was a little long but I enjoyed them. It's interesting to note that nobody else in our suite had a clue as to who they were and used their time on stage to go to the bathroom, grab a drink, or find something to eat.

2. I was actually impressed with the New Kids. I didn't give them enough credit going into it and had some serious doubts about this whole reunion tour in general.

3. They did a whole lot of slow mo and gliding sequences in their routines. A whole lot. While impressed with some of their dance moves, the slide/glide thing got old pretty fast. Especially when in conjunction with strobe lights.

4. They changed outfits way too often. I'm not even sure how they managed to it so often and so fast. Interesting that every single outfit every single time was white, black, rhinestone, or a combo thereof.

5. Donnie said "Tulsa" more times last night than our mayor has. Kathy, by the way, was spotted in a nearby suite. Whodathunkit?

6. Cute little Joey McIntyre dropped the F-bomb. I was kinda shell shocked. I mean, I get that he's in his 30s and all, but he's Joey for crying out loud!

7. I once again found myself wondering what Jonathan Knight's role in this group really is. Solo time was split fairly evenly among Jordan, Joey, and Donnie and even Danny got to show off his break dancing skills more than once. But really, what about Jonathan?!

8. I don't think I've ever been to a concert where I've seen women actually throw their underwear at the performers. I mean, surely it's happened, but I've never actually seen it until last night.

9. I'm curious as to how they're going to write Donnie's comeback into HBO's "Entourage" script in the next couple of seasons. Man, I love that show (produced by and based on Donnie's lil brother Marky Mark's life in the limelight)!

I Love Jesus But I Drink A Little

So my crazy friend Donna's daughter got married on Saturday. They're a big Catholic family. And this was a big Catholic family wedding...complete with an open bar. Oh yeah. I'm not really a big wine drinker but let's just say I ended up on the dance floor until midnight. Lord I hope there aren't any pictures of that! But it was a good wedding. They held it at the Tulsa Air and Space Museum which at first was a little weird but as the evening wore on (and the wine sunk in) it was really pretty cool. The ceremony wasn't a Catholic mass...short and sweet. And too bad the officiant was already hitched himself. I thought he was adorable. He had that lead singer of The Counting Crows thing going on.

And I made it through the evening without Crazy Donna's mom trying to matchmake me. The last time I saw Fern she was so excited about setting me up with one of her many (56?...told you it was a big family!) grandchildren. Apparently the one she has in mind for me isn't much of a looker but is so, so sweet. Well of course he is.

And Crazy Donna made it through the evening. She was crying as soon as she was led down the aisle, all the way through the vows, and on into the father/daughter dance. But then the party started and she lived up to her name (which is Crazy Donna, if you hadn't noticed already!). Let's just say that while she made it through the evening, her underwear did not. It went home in one of her daughter and new son-in-law's gift bags. That's right, folks, she peed her pants on the dance floor. She would absolutely kill me if she read this. Good thing she doesn't know I blog...

Needless to say, I got home fairly late. The wine plus the time change didn't really do much for me or the Spanish lesson I had to teach in Okmulgee on Sunday. Oh yeah, had to give my dad and his mission trip group some basic Spanish pointers before they head down to Mexico next week. Again, I love Jesus but...

Itty Bitty Kitty Committee

Yeah, Val named me that. Just wanted to follow up and let the public know that the kittens now have names...at least until they're claimed by their future families and given permanent names like Harry (ahem, Val...).

One of my counselor aides at school helped me brainstorm and we came up with Dolce and Gabbana for the white kitties and Dooney and Bourke for the black furbabies. I'm so not a fashionista but I think the names are really cute. I just hope the white ones are girls and the black ones are boys. But I don't know when I'm going to be able to figure all that out...

Around the House

So I had a fairly productive weekend...On Saturday I did my regular thrift store circuit and found a restaurant quality chrome shelving unit. I debated about whether or not to buy it. Even left the store only to return a few hours later to make the purchase. Thought it was a great bargain but found out later that it wasn't such a fabulous deal. Bygones. I've been wanting a shelving system for my kitchen for a good while now so I'm pleased. It's nestled in between my fridge and this random wall on the other side of my cabinets. So now I have a pantry of sorts that I'm able to roll in and out when I need to get something.

And on Sunday my wonderful mother came over to help me paint my bedroom. I have a minor issue with motivation and procrastination. I've been putting off this paint job ever since I moved back to Tulsa three and half years ago. My mom had painted it the light green back when we thought she was renovating Loraine so I could sell her. That didn't happen and I've hated the color ever since. Check out the paint swatch I slapped up a couple months after moving back. Yep, that's over three years ago now, too. Wow.

If you didn't already know it, I'm a big bargain hunter (thrift stores, remember) although it may be more correct to call me a cheapskate. I rarely pay full price for anything. So when any home reno project is looming before me I head to Home Depot to scour their "Oops" paint selection. I found a gallon of a pretty gray with just a hint of blue in it and I thought it would be perfect. A score for just $5! A few weeks later I was shopping at Target (just to pick up a pack of bottled water, mind you) and found a great rug half off. It's charcoal gray with a floral motif with touches of light blue. Thought it'd match the paint perfectly. Man, this story is really boring. Sorry. Long (and boring) story short, my mom came over and we knocked out the bedroom in just a few hours. But it's more of a blue paint with a hint of gray instead of the other way. I was kind of bummed at first, but it's growing on me. Take a look.

The next thing on my list is to get rid of the brown bedding and headboard and pinkish bedskirt and find something that fits in my new (ahem, blue) color scheme. Maybe I'll actually cross it off my list before the next three years come and go.