A Rose By Any Other Name

So I ran across one of the lists I started making earlier this year while I was bored at my second job. This particular one is to do with last names I hope never to marry into. I sincerely hope I fall madly, desparately in love one day (sooner rather than later) and cannot wait to exchange vows that will forever connect me to another person and create a new family from that point on. Unless, of course, Prince Charming's last name is one of the following:

Butts (I had a college student with this last name observe my classroom full of 9th graders. You can imagine their snickers)
Dick (enough said)
Funk (by far the least embarrassing of the list, but still...)
Knippelmeyer
Snodgrass
Titsworth (I once had a student by this name. So sad...) or
Weiner

I know, I know, it's so juvenile of me. But I really think if a man by any of those names proposed, I'd definitely have to keep my maiden name. Which is alright, I guess. It's a little unusual so that's good. But I'd love to marry into a distinguished, soap-opera-sounding name like:

Davenport
Valentine or
Winchester