Courtney's Menagerie

Sitting there at my oh-so-busy second job I came up with a list of all the pets I've had since I graduated from college. There is no other word to describe it other than sad. Just plain old sad.

1. An aquarium full of fish - I've always been fascinated with fish. When I was little I would sneak into my parents' bedroom and scoop the fish out to pet them. *died of natural causes*
2. Jake the stray cat. *given away* (to my sister when I moved in with my grandparents)
3. Murphy the chocolate lab who suffered from separation anxiety. A master escape artist.***
4. Winnie the Pug. She was pug-shaped but brindle. *returned*
5. Mali the Chesapeake Bay Retriever. High maintenance. She bit me. I almost killed her with rat poison (not on purpose! Not even after she bit me.) *returned*
6. Milo the black lab. He was dumb and gangly but god I loved him!***
7. Tucker the growth-stunted chocolate lab. I think he was fed crack as a baby. I would wake up to terrible commotions and found him (numerous times) on top of my dining room table shredding anything that was lying on it. *returned*
8. Ty(son) the white lab. I say white because he was white. With blue eyes. Not sure what he was mixed with but he was beautiful.***
9. Winston the pug/something ugly. *returned*
10. Hopalong the bunny. *given away*
***I had Murphy, Milo, and Ty (my complete lab collection) for quite awhile. When I took the job as a dorm director I couldn't have any pets on campus so I had to find homes for them. It was the hardest week of my life.
11. Casper the cockapoo. After four months without a pet I tried smuggling this puppy in. After one week I knew it wasn't going to work. He barked constantly. I had to go back to my apartment every hour to restart my dryer to muffle as much of his noise as I could. *given away* (to my sister)
12. Sushi the carnivorous betta fish (he hopped up and caught a fly!). My friend Amy thinks living without pets is the worst so she bought me this betta to keep me company. *died of natural causes*
13. Bijou. My wonderful, adorable, fat black pug. I smuggled her into the dorm. She ate everything in sight but she was quiet!
14. Becker. My fawn pug with an attitude. Very photogenic though. *Hit by a car*
15. Wilbur. "Some Pug." My fawn pug with one eye. Given to me by a breeder (through Amy) because his eye was scratched by a littermate. He is the sweetest little loverboy.
16. Suki. *returned* In a moment of weakness I checked petfinder.com out and came home with another fat pug. Wait...hold the phone, folks! She wasn't fat...she was preggers! Which led to...
17. Humphrey, *sold*
18. Buster, *sold*
19. Bing (the runt) *died of natural cause*
20. Greta, *sold* and
21. Ingrid. *sold* {for all you math geniuses out there that's nine, count 'em, nine pugs in my house at one time. Ay, ay, ay!}
22. Olive the tabby cat. Who sneaks into the abandoned house next door forcing me to break and enter every other week (FOUR TIMES now!!!). Who didn't get spayed soon enough and spewed forth...
23. Dolce, *given away*
24. Gabbana, *given away*
25. Dooney, *given away* and
26. Bourke. *given away*

26 animals in 12 years (24 in 9 years). This is bad, folks. Real bad. I have a sickness. My name is Courtney and I'm a petaholic. Better than a PETaphile, no?

For the record, only three animals live with me now. And all but one (Bijou) were adopted/fostered through rescue organizations and shelters. Writing all this down makes me realize just how wishy-washy I am truly am. I'm ashamed at all the times I typed the word "returned." Pet ownership is serious stuff and I shouldn't have taken it as lightly as I did.